 |
| Adorable! |
Hard to believe that anyone could look at that face and not L-O-V-E him. But it's true. Some don't. I prefer to think they are just too afraid to look into that beautiful hazel eye long enough to see the the boy. And I'll admit, there are times that he isn't the most handsome. For example, when he's crying or angry. We call it the "squishy face". But who thinks their kid looks his best when he's angry or crying?
 |
| Just angry because I put him down. |
But we still find this expression gorgeous. He's ours. He's happy. He's loved.
"That"
I just had to share something that happened a few days ago. It was the first time anyone had really ever said anything negative about Lukasz. We've had lots of looks of curiosity, some of concern and two of actual repulsion.
But one week ago, at Walmart, as we were pulling away from the cashier, a big lady in her motorized shopping cart behind us told the the cashier, "I am just glad THAT is hers and not mine."
I was stunned. It was one of those moments when you aren't sure if you really heard what you thought you heard or that it was really directed at you. I was thoroughly caught off guard. And I admit I expected it to happen some time and I admit being pretty arrogant that I would be totally ready to handle it. But I wasn't. When it happened it was totally out of the blue, like a slap in the face and I responded in the same momentary paralysis I would have had if a stranger had come up and slapped me in the face and walked away before I could get my bearings back. I could not believe what I was hearing.
When I came to from the shock, I was upset. I wanted to say, "Guess what, I'm pretty sure he'd be happy to know he ISN'T yours." But I just kissed him and in a shell-shocked voice said, "Oh, we're so pleased to have him." By the time I got to my car I thought, it's just how a lot of people fee--not in mean way but, you know, counting their blessings. I mean, no one WANTS their kids to have issues and if yours don't, you would be glad they didn't have the extra challenges and burdens.
The thing that made me sad, hurt my feelings and got my temper up was that attitude of disgust and referring to my CHILD as "that". As if he were a "thing" a monster or a mistake of nature not worthy to be called a human being.
In Poland there were two occasions that felt sort of the same but not nearly as bad. The first was after Matt had gone home. I was pushing in Lukasz in the stroller and stopped at a souvenir kiosk on the sidewalk. A couple looking at items next to me looked down at Lukasz and had the most repulsed look on their faces. The woman tugged on her boyfriend's arm to leave.
The second occasion was at the Christian camp, Timothy (remember him? our agency rep's son) took us to. Everyone was so nice there. They wanted to hear all about Lukasz and his adoption and how we heard about him. But just before we went out for dinner, I was standing with Lukasz outside the chapel waiting for Timothy to come back with his friends, when a young teenage counselor came up to see the baby. Lukasz had his hood up and she came up behind him and pulled off his hood to coo over him. She clearly had no idea that Lukasz looked "different" when she did it.
She immediately was shocked and reeled back in repulsion, eyes wide, holding her chest and throwing her arms out. She spoke broken English but it was clear that she was saying she thought I should keep his hood on him and that she couldn't believe what she was seeing. This went on for about 5-10 minutes. It was so over the top dramatic, that I stopped being offended pretty fast and had to keep myself from laughing. She clearly had more problems than Lukasz. I had to finally actually tell her calmly but firmly, "Honey, you need to get a grip. Calm down. He's just a little boy, the same as everyone." Finally, Timothy and his friends came back and we went off to dinner.
The last really bad reaction we have received so far was from our own US Customs official in the airport when we entered the US. I handed him Lukasz' passport and he looked down at it. He had a look on his face that said, "What am I seeing? This is not good," and at the same time he said, "Oooooo, wow." Not in a very nice way. Stunned. A customs official? But I just said, "Yup, our little guy has got some issues but he's going to be fine." Then he wanted to make sure I was aware of all of the medical issues listed in the immigration/adoption paperwork. I said, "Yes, we know all about it and have medical care in-place." He was very professional after that.
Crazy what people say and do. I'll post about the more typical, nicer experiences next time.
But one week ago, at Walmart, as we were pulling away from the cashier, a big lady in her motorized shopping cart behind us told the the cashier, "I am just glad THAT is hers and not mine."
I was stunned. It was one of those moments when you aren't sure if you really heard what you thought you heard or that it was really directed at you. I was thoroughly caught off guard. And I admit I expected it to happen some time and I admit being pretty arrogant that I would be totally ready to handle it. But I wasn't. When it happened it was totally out of the blue, like a slap in the face and I responded in the same momentary paralysis I would have had if a stranger had come up and slapped me in the face and walked away before I could get my bearings back. I could not believe what I was hearing.
When I came to from the shock, I was upset. I wanted to say, "Guess what, I'm pretty sure he'd be happy to know he ISN'T yours." But I just kissed him and in a shell-shocked voice said, "Oh, we're so pleased to have him." By the time I got to my car I thought, it's just how a lot of people fee--not in mean way but, you know, counting their blessings. I mean, no one WANTS their kids to have issues and if yours don't, you would be glad they didn't have the extra challenges and burdens.
The thing that made me sad, hurt my feelings and got my temper up was that attitude of disgust and referring to my CHILD as "that". As if he were a "thing" a monster or a mistake of nature not worthy to be called a human being.
In Poland there were two occasions that felt sort of the same but not nearly as bad. The first was after Matt had gone home. I was pushing in Lukasz in the stroller and stopped at a souvenir kiosk on the sidewalk. A couple looking at items next to me looked down at Lukasz and had the most repulsed look on their faces. The woman tugged on her boyfriend's arm to leave.
The second occasion was at the Christian camp, Timothy (remember him? our agency rep's son) took us to. Everyone was so nice there. They wanted to hear all about Lukasz and his adoption and how we heard about him. But just before we went out for dinner, I was standing with Lukasz outside the chapel waiting for Timothy to come back with his friends, when a young teenage counselor came up to see the baby. Lukasz had his hood up and she came up behind him and pulled off his hood to coo over him. She clearly had no idea that Lukasz looked "different" when she did it.
She immediately was shocked and reeled back in repulsion, eyes wide, holding her chest and throwing her arms out. She spoke broken English but it was clear that she was saying she thought I should keep his hood on him and that she couldn't believe what she was seeing. This went on for about 5-10 minutes. It was so over the top dramatic, that I stopped being offended pretty fast and had to keep myself from laughing. She clearly had more problems than Lukasz. I had to finally actually tell her calmly but firmly, "Honey, you need to get a grip. Calm down. He's just a little boy, the same as everyone." Finally, Timothy and his friends came back and we went off to dinner.
The last really bad reaction we have received so far was from our own US Customs official in the airport when we entered the US. I handed him Lukasz' passport and he looked down at it. He had a look on his face that said, "What am I seeing? This is not good," and at the same time he said, "Oooooo, wow." Not in a very nice way. Stunned. A customs official? But I just said, "Yup, our little guy has got some issues but he's going to be fine." Then he wanted to make sure I was aware of all of the medical issues listed in the immigration/adoption paperwork. I said, "Yes, we know all about it and have medical care in-place." He was very professional after that.
Crazy what people say and do. I'll post about the more typical, nicer experiences next time.
No comments:
Post a Comment