Thank You Letter

I just found out that my letter to the Catholic Adoption Center was published in their Jubilee Bulletin- for their 20th anniversary. And I thought I would share it here, as well, even though it is kind of a recap of earlier posts to this blog:

A Thank You Letter

We owe a great debt of gratitude to the Catholic Center for the blessing of our fifth child, our fourth child through adoption and our only internationally adopted child.  Lukasz has added so much love to our family and expanded our experience of the world in many wonderful ways; from a journey to Poland to seeing life through the eyes of a child so different in amazing ways from the rest of the world.

This was an unexpected journey in many, many ways.  We never expected to adopt internationally. We never expected we would adopt a child with only one eye, one ear, half a jaw, right coronal craniosynostosis and a severe cleft lip and cleft palate.  As it turns out, we cannot predict our future and sometimes one email can change your life forever in beautiful ways that only God can foresee.

When we learned through an email from our agency about Lukasz, I asked my husband if I should inquire for more information.  He said, "It never hurts to ask."  I emailed and asked “how bad are his facial deformities?” and the agency rep said, “I am happy to send photos.”  I’ll admit that it took me a few minutes to take in all of Lukasz’ face and let it settle in.  The uncorrected cleft lip and palate were severe; the unformed right side of his face complete.  But I fell in love.

I researched his medical conditions. I reached out to support groups on and contacted craniofacial surgical teams and our family doctor for their opinions. Medical opinions ranged from, “he could be in diapers for the rest of his life” to “no big deal, he has one ear and one eye—he’ll be fine”. 

However, all the doctors agreed that he would require ongoing surgical intervention for the first eighteen years of his life and that each of those craniofacial surgeries would be medically necessary and necessarily expensive. But somehow we knew that even though the unknown was terrifying, we wanted him.

A Leap of Faith

It came down to whether we wanted to take the leap of faith into the unknown that every adoptive parent must make.  There are too many unknowns in adoption to expect a smooth ride.  You cannot expect to know even nearly everything about the birth parents or the adoptive child prior to bringing them home.

The faith you leap with can only, at best, be educated and confident that you can do what it takes to parent and love his child completely and appropriately as if God had placed him in your womb.  We took the leap.  We accepted the referral. The negative medical information and opinions just did not feel right to us.

Becoming a Family

We traveled to Poland on June 20, 2012, and met Lukasz on June 22, 2012.  His foster family’s love was immense.  We could feel their sorrow in letting him go but they were happy he would have a family. The devotion of the adoption center’s director to Lukasz was amazing.  She was at his birth, named him after her son and so desperately wanted him to have a home as quickly as possible.

On July 30, 2012, I arrived home after 6 weeks in Poland with Lukasz, our new son. He was immediately embraced by his siblings as one of their own.  They had been waiting for him for as long as we had.  Every day after the day they saw his referral pictures, they had asked, “When are we bringing our brother home?”  As much as we had loved him from the moment we heard of him, they did as well.

Lukasz is a child of joy, pure energy, stubborn determination, and was given the gift of a complete, blissful inability to recognize the stares and comments his appearance often elicits. He has an infectious charm that wins even the most wary stranger over.  He loves to copy everything his big brothers do and even lets his sister comb his hair.  He is speaking better and better everyday. In February, he had cranial vault reconstruction to reshape his skull and bring his right cheek forward.  They surgeons told us that he would be tired and in pain for several weeks but he surprised them by recovering, being able to go in three days rather than six and getting back to normal activity almost immediately.

Thank You

We know that God’s plan was for Lukasz to join our family.  The Catholic Center, the foster family, our agency, and in-country agency representative (and her family as well) truly acted as the hands and feet of Christ in bringing him home to us.

Thank you, for advocating for Lukasz and all children waiting for families.  Thank you for entrusting us with your precious child.

Adopting all of our children was a miracle.  Adopting Lukasz from Poland was a lesson in being open to whatever unexpected opportunity comes our way. We pray that other families, Polish and international, will have the courage to prayerfully accept a child into their families through adoption.

Sometimes the most unexpected are the greatest of God’s gifts