Last Days in Poland and Home at Last!

New U.S. Citizen, as of going through Customs/Immigration in Minneapolis.

Last Days in Poland

It only took four days to get Lukasz' Polish passport and the US immigration visa.  The US Embassy gave me a sealed envelope of documents to give to customs at our first US destination (Minneapolis).  That was on Thursday.  We had three free days before leaving for home.

We walked around Warsaw for the last few times.  I bought some last minute souvenirs for the kids.

 Repair being done to a road in Old Town Warsaw. The stones are huge.

I wanted to take a picture of Lukasz next to the stones.

to give a perspective on how thick they are but he was

having none of it. He was perfectly happy until I tried

to stand him there. I think he thought I was going to

leave him there.

Superman was Adopted.  Great t-shirt.
In our apartment's back garden.

On Sunday, we were invited to our agency rep's home for the afternoon.  Their house is in a little village outside of Warsaw and the large backyard backs on to a forest.  The translator who worked on all of our documents and her family were also there.  Ewa, the translator, has two boys aged 7 and 9.  The 7 year old was born with a disfigured left arm so it was nice to get her experiences with how her boys react to strangers' and other children's comments and stares, as well as school experiences.

Both of the boys are extremely interested in all things nature.  And apparently everyone in Poland has an interest in collecting wild mushrooms to eat.  Even the boys were very familiar with the different types of mushrooms, poisonous and edible.  They were anxious for the season to start so they could hunt mushrooms.  So, after a lovely dinner outside, we all went for a long walk through the forest and the boys picked mushrooms--mostly poisonous.

I spent the rest of the night cleaning the apartment and packing.  We woke up at 3:00 a.m. and headed out to the airport.

Getting Home!

When we arrived in Minneapolis, we went straight to Customs with everyone else and I handed the precious sealed envelope to the Customs official.  He stamped Lukasz's passport and told us that he is now a citizen, we can apply for his social security card at any time using the passport as his identification and that we will receive a Certificate of Citizenship in the mail within 6-8 weeks.  Hurray!

Starting the Journey from Warsaw.

We made it home on June 30, 2012, at about 5:00 p.m.  Lukasz was great on the plane except he really hated being restrained on my lap during take off and landing.  He was perfectly content to sit on my lap throughout the flight, it was just when he felt like he was not allowed to move that he screamed.  Which was for the 20 minutes before, during and after take off (and landing) that we had to wait for the seat belt light to go off.

Note to all the passengers who gave us dirty looks and made nasty comments about his screaming:

       If you were strapped in a car seat during all your waking hours in the "play room" for the ten months after  you demonstrated an ability to roll over and move independently, you would also resist any attempt you perceive as a withdrawal of your newly acquired freedom of movement.  The resentful silence and few hateful comments of the plane full of people during his terrified cries are an allegory for the indifference and apathy of his caregivers, specifically, and the rest of the world, generally, which fails to acknowledge the unacceptable life conditions of so many children domestically and abroad.

Awesome Greeting

Matt and the kids and both of our sets of parents were there to meet us.  Lukasz and I exited the terminal at the wrong end of the airport so we weren't in the right spot to see everyone as we came out but we all ran to meet each other.  The kids crowded Lukazs immediately.  He was so tired, he did not respond as enthusiastically as the other kids had hoped but that did not seem to bother them at all.  

I don't know why they covered their faces.

On the ride home, we learned that Lukasz is terrified of balloons.  The metallic Elmo and "Welcome Home" balloon kept floating into his face and his one eye got so big and he had such a look of terror I had to twist around and shove them back before they did lasting trauma.

Meeting their new brother.

The adjustment is a little rough.  Nothing too bad but Lukasz does want me to hold him almost all the time.  That is good as it means he is attaching to me.  And he has woken up every morning at 3:00 a.m. and not gone back to sleep until 5:30.  We're following his lead and doing our best.  We want him to know that we will be here to meet all of his needs and we know that this is his third home in 2 months and that has got to be scary and unsettling.

Yesterday I thought he had FINALLY figured out the "more" sign while we were eating lunch.  He repeated it between almost twenty bites of food.  I was so excited that he was learning to communicate with language rather than screams and pointing.  But later in the day I could not get him to do it.

Walking with their new brother.

"Helping" Lukasz open gifts from Daddy and the kids.

Edible arrangement from the Great Aunts!
A huge hit.  Thanks! 

Adventures and Paperwork

I have to start with--Lukasz is ours!  Friday July 20, 2012, was the last day of the appeal period and the court decree was issued that afternoon in Lomza.  We started our whirlwind week of passport and visa processing today by driving two and a half hours to Lomza to get certified copies of the court decree, the new birth certificates losing Matt and I as Lukasz's parents and Lukasz' Polish passport.

Tomorrow, Lukasz has an appointment with a US Embassy approved physician for his Visa medical exam and then we go immediately to the Embassy for the Visa interview and to get all documents in order for Lukasz' Certificate of Citizenship to be process and mailed to us after our arrival in the US.  It really is amazing that the act of touching US soil is final requirement in the process of Lukasz' obtaining citizenship.

Last Week's Adventures

Lukasz and I were lucky to have several little trips last week, along with the usually wanderings around Warsaw broken up with naps for both of us.  Ahhhh, I'll miss taking an afternoon nap when I get home.

Camp

Our first adventure was a trip to a rural town outside of Warsaw.  On Wednesday, July 18, 2012, Lukasz and I had an exciting day of adventures with our in-country rep's 20 year old son, Timothy, and his friends visiting his childhood (and as a counselor) Christian camp in Zakosciele, about 1.5 hours outside of Warsaw.

Actually, the adventure started before we even left the street in front of my apartment.  I was early coming down from the apartment so walked several blocks to my favorite local coffee shop for a Mocha.  I came back to the building just in time to see Timothy and his "friend who is a girl" walking across the street to meet me.  Then, I saw two Polish Police officers intercepting them.  They were directed to follow the police back to the car.  Not knowing what to do, I followed.  I need to mention that I have often seen these police officers from my apartment window stopping people on the sidewalk and questioning them. Because I could never figure out why they were stopping people, I always just waited for them to leave before I left the apartment.  The though of being asked "for my papers" just scared me.

Timothy and Kasha were asked for their "papers", meaning identification.  Kasha is only 16 but apparently once you are old enough for pre-school here, you get an identification card that you mush have at all times.  They were run through the Police computer system for--drum roll, please--jaywalking.  They crossed in the middle of the block (they parked directly across the street from my building and walked right over) instead of going to the corner.  It took 35 minutes of questioning and requisitioning for the same answers to verify the information on the identification and to get a clearance from the Police system and a warning from the the Police.

I took these photos on the sly because I didn't know how the
police would react.

Timothy, taking this SO seriously.

I'll admit it.  I was sweating it out.  There was no way I wanted to accompany my friends to a relatively (less than 25 years) post -communist police station.  I wasn't in trouble because I met up with them after they were stopped but I had to go with them if they went.  First, I was the only "real" adult and felt I would owe that to Timothy's mom.  Second, they were my ride!

See, Lukasz was pretty concerned, too.

After we were given the all clear/stern warning about crossing in the wrong place in a predominantly pedestrian tourist area, we loaded up and headed out.  It was at this point that I realized that in my flustered and confused state in joining my friends while they talked to the jaywalking police, I had actually jaywalked in the same place to reach them.  Luckily, the police didn't notice with their attention on Timothy and Kasha.

Lukasz loves to walk, especially if he can get
two people to hold his hands.

At the camp we met many of Timothy and Kasha's friends, lots of Americans from various places in the US who were teaching classes and working as ministers at the camp.  I observed some of the classes and then we went to eat dinner in the little town.  Afterwards we went to a little stand to have the traditional and favorite Polish fair food--a rectangular waffle with whipped cream and other toppings.  They sell these everywhere; at the zoo, in little food stalls in town, etc.  I had not tried one yet.  I fed the whipped cream to Lukasz who loved it and the waffle was really good, just like our waffles at home.

Trying out soccer (or "football") for the second time.

Just being cute.

Less than thrilled riding the Cars
mechanical toy

The three college kids on a carousel.

We went back to the camp for 8:00 service because the various classes were going to perform and then we headed home.  Got home at around 11:00 p.m.  Exhausted.

Warsaw Zoological Gardens

On Saturday, Timothy drove us to the Warsaw Zoo.  Very beautiful zoo with large, old trees.  THe grounds are expansive.   I learned that, among the many stories of the resistance in Warsaw, that the couple who ran the zoo during the Nazi occupation used the zoo to hide Jews.  They would hide them in their home and in the buildings on the grounds but would also dress them in staff uniforms and hide them in plain sight of the Nazis who frequented the zoo due to the Nazi's fascination with exotic animals.  The more I learn about this city during the war, the more I respect it's people.  They couldn't do much overtly, but so many did their best to covertly subvert.

Highlights of the zoo included the storks.  Storks are very common in Poland and, according to Grace (our agency rep) they are considered good luck.  They build large nests on platforms all over Poland, some of the platforms are man made specifically to encourage storks to build their nests and also because storks are notoriously bad at building structurally sound nests.  However, Timothy contradicts his mother and says that storks are not considered good luck but are a nuisance.  Both agree that Poles tell the same little story about babies being delivered by storks.

Thundering Up the place!
Again, less than thrilled.  We've got to work on that.

The waffle with whipped cream.

Lukasz really loves Timothy.  He holds his
hand up to him and screams until Timothy holds it.

A Few Other Observations

I have confirmed with my own eyes!  Men in Europe DO carry murses!

Lukasz experienced his first fountain wade in the Old Town Square.  He was less than thrilled.

Old Town Square, Mermaid fountain.  At least Lukasz and this girl
had clothes on.  Kids in Poland tend to run through splash parks
and fountains in just their underwear.

There was a Police Academy graduation ceremony in the Royal Castle square on Saturday.  While we waited for Timothy to pick us up for the zoo we got to see the various Police bands start their march through Old Town.  Do our police departments have bands?  If not, they should.

Sometimes, you just play so hard you pass out.

Visit from Adoption Center Director and Some Hard Truths

We had the last visit (first and only was at the Center last Monday) from the social workers on Monday July 2.  It went very well. They asked many of the same questions they asked the last time:  what were your expectations, how was Luka like your expectations and how was he different, etc.  They also asked about what reconstruction we planned and the Director was so pleased that Luka was going to have a chance to "look normal" and wanted us to make sure we sent photos.  We told her that we would follow what the surgeon recommended and that we would likely start with the most important functional; finishing his cleft palate correction, the craniostynotosis, his nose; getting an audiologist to assess whether he had a functional right middle ear that could be somehow accessed for hearing.  And, of course, we would keep in contact so she could see his progress.  She looked at Luka with such love and happiness.  

And then, we learned more about the residentianal medical institution Luka had been in for 14 months of his 17 month life.  The director, Bozena, really had severe animosity towards the place.  Apparently, for the entire time Luka was there he did not go outside at all and was terrified of the porch when the foster family first took him out.  They did take some of the ids out on the patio to play but Luka was never taken out.  He could see the patio but never play there.  Bozena and the other social worker think he was confined in a crib most of the time.  

When Bozena would try to visit Luka,the institution workers would never return her calls or send her photos or info on his development so she would just show up (call from the car a few minutes out) and take pictures herself.  They were always angry that she showed up with no warning.  I think all the photos we have were taken by her.  They would not let her see his room or hold him.  He would be strapped in the chair on the floor in what she said was referred to as the play room but kids were strapped in carseats all around the room.  They would not allow her to take him out of his carseat-- she would have to just move around him on the ground.  She told us Luka was the only child there with "normal" intelligence so he was not surrounded by even peer motivation for development.  I found that statement a little harsh because all children have a potential that can only be reached by stimulation.  I know she said there were many children with Down Syndrome and those children are so gifted it's terrible to think of them strapped in car seats with little interaction.  I felt terrible that any of those children were in that place

Finally, they were not interested in doing anything for him medically, not even the cleft lip/palate repair.  So, the surgeon in Lomza arranged it.  He called down to the hospital in Warsaw and got the date for the surgery and told the institution when it would be and he drove in to perform the surgery (kind of makes me feel bad about how angry I was at him when we met Luka and knew immediately the cleft palate had not been closed entirely).  She said looking at him in the foster home and now, Luka is a different child than when he was in the institution and she was so sorry he had to be there.

Again, she told us how happy she was that we were adopting him.  She told me that I didn't "look like I was afraid of him at all."  I thought she meant his medical conditions, that I didn't treat him overly delicately.  So I told her that I wasn't afraid because we had researched his medical conditions before we came and we had taken care of our oldest with lots of medical needs the first year.    But Matt told me later he thought she meant his appearance and he had thought to himself, "Lady!  He's just a little kid what's there to be terrified of?!" Finally, she told us she hoped that one day we would be so pleased with his appearance.  We knew she said this out of love for Luka but we told her we would love him no matter what he looked like and we hoped for him what we hope for all our kids--that he be happy in life.  I said, "We are so happy with him," and she said, "Oh, he is with you, too."  And I said, "Oh, I don't know, children at this age are entitled to take their parents for granted.  They should just expect to be loved and cared for."

I just wanted to cry when she left. I was so happy that she and the Catholic Adoption Center in Lomza had advocated for him so hard but I was devastated that his life had bee in a carseat for so long and that so many other children are living that way.  Why didn't they take HIM outside?  Was it because of the way he looks?  Now I understand why so many of the photos we received of him before we came to Poland are of him in a carseat.  I believe the photos of him out of the carseat were taken at the facility he had his cleft lip/palate surgery.  Matt says that maybe Bozena exaggerated a little because often times facilities and departments just have biases against each other.  I think that not returning her calls or letting her see his room are pretty big indicators of the place.

But he finally got moved to a great foster family and he is with us now.  And we can hope he will have more development and surgery so his brain has enough room to grow in his skull.

First Week

We have had a great first week with Luka and moving to Warsaw.  Some problems with the internet connection in the apartment and Luka spilling tea all over Matt's computer requiring us to buy a new one from a Polish Apple store.  Warsaw is beautiful and amazing.  Our apartment is right in Old Town and in walking distance (if you consider 1-2 miles walking distance as we do) of everything you could want to see--museums, castles, restaurants, parks, etc.  Here are a few photos taken from our apartment.  I'll post others of the immediate area later.

Monday


On Monday, June 25, we went back to the Adoption Center to meet with the director, and psychologist for our first social worker visit.   They asked what we had expected of Luka, what was different than we expected and if we had any questions.

We told them that we had examined his medical records so we knew what to expect medically but we did not know what to expect developmentally.  With his institutionalization and his medical issues we were not sure if he would be severely delayed, temporarily or permanently, but after meeting him we were very pleased.   I told them, "He is such a sweet boy and intelligent."  He is delayed by a few months but we have been pleased that with just the short weekend we had seen a lot of improvement (and, now, after the week, even more).

They were all so pleased to hear that we were happy and the director said, "He is so curious about his environment, and you know that with only one eye he has had a harder time see in his world and his development would be a little delayed and because of his cleft palate he could not make sounds so his speech is expectedly delayed."   While these things may be true, his delays are most likely from institutionalization.  It would be truly wonderful to talk to the foster family about the improvements they must have seen.  We know he learned to walk with them which is truly a result of leaving the institution and entering a family home.

Next, the Director told us how happy they were that we were going to get Luka the surgeries he needs and that they felt he was so lucky we wanted him.  Everyone else from the center echoed this.  So that no one misinterprets their meaning, they said it with sincere love for Luka.   I was so flustered by their statements but we told them, "Oh, we are the lucky ones to have him; we were waiting for our next child and our other kids too.  We Skyped with the kids yesterday and they are so excited to get him home.  Our youngest is so excited because he will have him in his room."

Then the Director asked, "And you have an appointment already scheduled for him when you get back?"  It was very clear that they are anxious to ensure Luka is going to begin his treatment as soon as possible.  I told her, "Yes and we have already emailed the CT scan you gave us on Friday to the surgeon and he has already emailed us his opinion.  He is expecting Lukasz."  She sat back very pleased and surprised that we (and the doctor) had acted so quickly on the new medical information.  And Matt told her, "This is a world renowned craniofacial surgeon only a few hours drive from our home; Luka will get the best care possible."

It was arranged that they would visit us in Warsaw on Tuesday, July 3.  And we said goodbye and headed to Warsaw and our apartment.

Warsaw


Warsaw is a beautiful city with an amazingly resilient history.  And we could not be more pleased with our apartment or it's location.  The internet has been an issue but small sacrifices that have been easily corrected.

We walked and walked.  We ate great food.  We saw some heart wrenching and thought provoking museums.

I'm just going to post some photos from this week and try to post more details later.  This post has been pretty long as it is and I am tired.