It's National Adoption Month: Let's Engage ALL Prospective Adoptive Parents

There are people other than Christians we should also be inviting to adopt. 

First, in full disclosure, I am a woman of faith.  I am a practicing Catholic.  My Christian beliefs are very important to me.  I do my best to raise my children with Christ at their heart with the focus on caring for the poor, disenfranchised, abandoned and ostracized by society.  I try to teach my children to be inviting and inclusive of all people of every faith and lifestyle.  There is no one unworthy of our friendship and kindness. Basically, to be known as Christians by our love as the hymn goes – to do as Jesus would do, even when others might not.  Of course, I am not perfect.  I judge when I shouldn’t, I turn my back when I shouldn’t.  But we are all works in progress and I teach my kids that, too.

However, when adoption is the topic, I do not discuss the Bible or my Faith, I do not put Christian themed adoption bumper stickers on my car, I do not put Bible quotes on the home page of my blog and I do not wear t-shirts with adoption themed Bible quotes.  These things only appeal to other Christians; they limit the “adoption option” discussion to Christians. I want people to approach me about adoption. And if they think I am a going to try to convert them or "save" them they are not going to approach me.  Or worse, they may think that I would be opposed to their interest if they are not Christian.

I do not have a problem with other people singing adoption’s praises through the music of their faith.  I, personally, just prefer to take a broader approach. I don’t want to close someone’s mind to adoption by evangelizing when I talk about it.  I believe that other adults have most certainly formed their spiritual opinions prior to meeting me or reading my blog. Blasting them with religious rhetoric is not going to serve a meaningful purpose.  I have always intended my blog as a broad invitation to all legally eligible persons to consider adoption; an invitation through the experience of our story of adoption and the continued life after the papers are final.

The reality is that when you start talking about “my Lord’s Word”, “His will”, “the Holy Spirit,” mentioning Christ, etc., or quoting the Bible, many perfectly good people/potential adoptive parents close their ears and turn away from the discussion.  They do not want to hear about a God they don’t believe in or a religion they disagree with or one they feel excludes them.  

And, when it comes to adoption, that’s okay.  I’m out to get these kids in healthy, stable, loving homes and I will be inviting, encouraging and inclusive of anyone I can get interested.  I do not need to discuss my faith or the Bible to explain how awesome adoption is and how it has given my family so much joy.  I do not need to discuss my faith to describe the kids or the conditions of so many kids still waiting out there to be claimed by a family or to explain the process of adoption.  I do not need to agree with the faith, life choices, etc., of the people I am talking to about adoption.  Nor do I need to agree with the faith, life choices, etc. of the people I am talking to in order to recognize that they will still make loving, stable parents.

There is a Worldwide Crisis of Orphaned & Waiting Children and it is a Matter of Life and Death

The number of children waiting in orphanages worldwide and in the US foster care system varies to some degree from source to source but the numbers are identical in one sense--they are staggering.   There are so many orphans, so many waiting children, so many children considered “too old” to be adoptable, so many 5 year olds that weigh only 10 pounds due to neglect, so many children that age-out into a life of no options but terrible options, so many children with facial differences and other perceived “unadoptable” conditions that, quite frankly, I really don’t care what religion, lifestyle or philosophy a parent adheres to, if they have the love and desire in their heart to adopt one of these children who would otherwise never know a parent’s love.  To see a sample of the children I am referring to go to www.reecesrainbow.com, www.rainbowkids.com or www.adoptuskids.org and browse around their waiting child pages.

Of course, I think that if you are Christian there are many Biblical and faith-based directives to consider adoption. When I am talking to other Christians, I discuss my faith. However, ultimately, I do not believe that you should or need to adopt a child out of obligation or obedience to any faith. I think that perhaps a successful and happy adoption can begin with consideration of adoption as an obligation to faith but the final decision should be whether you want another child(ren), believe that you can love that child(ren) as if he/she/they were your biological child(ren) and can provide the care that the child(ren) needs physically and emotionally. And these considerations/decisions can be made by anyone of any faith or no faith or of a lifestyle different from ours. 

I do believe that God wants us to adopt children in need, but I have a real problem when Christians discuss adoption in terms of “laying up treasures in heaven.”  Adoption is not about making a sacrifice for a later reward, it is a reward in and of itself.  It is about expanding a family, about more love to share between parents, the adopted child and siblings.  Thinking in terms of goodwill from the Almighty suggests that adoption is a burden or undertaking done for an ulterior purpose.  This just isn’t the basis of a healthy parent-child relationship. Besides, treasures in heaven should be a consequence, not a motivation. And in my opinion, a "witness" should not need to be declared.

For Practical Reasons, For Life and Death Reasons, Adoption Should be Free from Proselytizing  

As Christians, we can have a whole other discussion about conversion (or “saving” in non-Catholic terms), the obligation to evangelize, and, of course, that dirty phrase “being politically correct.” I could point out that if your concern is that these children will not find Christ if adopted by a non-Christian family, children can be converted from a non-Christian home but they can’t be converted if they are dead; if they did not survive the neglect, abuse or isolation of an orphanage or the misery of waiting for a family in the instability of multiple foster homes.

But, truthfully, I don’t really care about these proselytizing issues when it comes to these kids.  I am more practical than wanting to debate that.  The immediate problem is these kids living a kind of hell (I’m using a colloquialism here, not a faith term), at best with no family of any kind, at worst extreme neglect and isolation.  No permanency of love.  No hope for better in life.  No hugs from someone they can say belongs to them; because our kids don’t belong to us, we belong to them.

Draw in People of other Beliefs

I can only imagine how many more children would find good homes if we, Christian adoptive parents, would for the sake of these children, be inclusive of all people in our discussions of adoption; if we were mindful of forming the discussion to draw people of different beliefs in, instead of away.

I am more than willing to hold my tongue on religious issues to get these kids in homes. I just want PEOPLE, ANY PEOPLE who can pass a homestudy and love a child to adopt.  I’ll say it again, I want EVERYONE regardless of faith, lifestyle, etc. to consider adoption.

If that was not clear enough, I will just lay it out here for you, in no particular order:

Yes, I think that singles can give a truly loving, healthy and fulfilled home to an adoptive child.

Yes, I think that same sex couples can give a truly loving, healthy and fulfilled home to an adoptive child.

Yes, I think atheists can give a truly loving, healthy and fulfilled life to an adoptive child.

Yes, I think every religion out there, despite any theological or philosophical disagreement I may or may not have with them, produces some pretty amazing and loving parents.

Who Would Say a Child is Better off Dead than in a Non-Christian Home?

I cannot imagine a Christian saying a child in an orphanage confined to a crib, never being held, or any child with untreated medical conditions because he is deemed unworthy of the expense or any waiting child hoping for a family of his own is better off where they are than in the arms of a loving, gay couple and/or an atheist family.  Well, I take that back, I can imagine it and it makes me more than sad.

Advocating for Beautiful 5 year old Girl with Uncorrected Cleft Lip and Palate

The agency who blessed us with our little whirlwind of energy, adventure and plain fun is advocating for this darling girl.  For some reason, she did not recieve corrective surgery for cleft lip and palate.  I cannot imagine how different Lukasz would be today if he had not had palate correction at 9 months.  

When I look at this little girl her face reminds me so much of Lukasz' baby face; the face we fell in love with before his adoption director located a physician who was willing to do his surgery.  It gave him the ability to eat and drink a little more normally.  His other issues still interfered but how malnourished he would have been.  Without corrective surgery, they could find no foster family willing to care for him and even after they could not find one until he was 15 months old--one month before we brought him home.  

If you, or someone you know, is interested in giving this child he gift of a family as well as the gift of improved health care, please contact me and I will put you in touch with the agency.  Here is what they have to say about her (they likely can give you more information upon request):

Agency's Description

GENTRIE, female, DOB 2/2010 SN unrepaired cleft lip/palate, anemia. Special Focus Designation

Gentrie has the daily struggle of getting enough nourishment through food that she can eat with the challenge of her cleft lip and open palate. How much she would have benefitted from surgery as a baby!! But, that was not done for her and she has found a way to accommodate. Her special need likely affects multiple parts of her life, such as affecting her speech and her ability to be understood by staff and peers, nutrition, self confidence. MAJOR life changes could be made for her and need to be! Video has been requested and will be posted as soon as it is received.

Gentrie’s caregivers share, “She has good self-management, pleased to do what she can, can help nurturers manage the stuff.
Personality and hobbies: introverted, quiet, timid, some cognitive ability, can express her needs with simple language, can get along well with other kids, can do the interactive games; have basic ability of speaking and listening, can focus on the study.”

Walking Center Stage

I once read that when you are the mother of a “special” child you have to become accustomed and comfortable with being the center of attention everywhere you go.  It’s true.  Being the center of attention for my child is usually not so bad.  To be honest, Matt and I are pretty proud parents and we think Lukasz is just awesome because of his uniqueness.  Until recently, answering polite questions while Lukasz was politely smiled at and encouraging wary children to say “hi” to our Wookie was a fine kind of center stage.  He was young enough that no one much paid attention to his “differences” because he was a lot shorter than the kids that would notice and the kids his own size were too young to be aware of such earthly things as how many eyes or ears their friends have.

I thought I understood from a lot of experience before Lukasz what that author, whoever he or she was, meant.  We’ve been center stage for quite a few reasons: fate seeming to prefer to give us children in close pairs; having four kids (now five) with us in public; a beautiful daughter with hair and skin that do not match our four boys; and, four adoptions in every which way adoption comes.

Please understand before you read on that we went into adopting Lukasz totally prepared.  We knew what our life with him would be like and the challenges we would face.  We love our lives with Lukasz and would have it no other way.  It’s not that 1 or 5 or 20 comments or questions bother us.  It just adds up and wears on us every so often.  An honest depiction of our lives would be incomplete without sharing the low points, too.  It is just important to express these down times so other families we hope will adopt a "different" child will be prepared for the exhaustion and sadness and will know that while they are hard moments, they are transient.  The joyful times more than out number the low times.

The Positive Effect of Children Center Stage

My husband and I have had a lot of experiences with our other children that we have often compared to celebrity treatment.  Our first two, Iain and Learned, were only 6.5 months apart and adoption allowed me to indulge my dream of having twins; I dressed them alike for 2 years and they were SOOOOOO adorable with their feathery white blonde hair.  Everywhere we went people stopped and smiled, came over to cue at them and ask them little boy questions like “don’t you just love Superman?” and “What’s your favorite Toy Story character? Woody or Buzz?”  Then they would congratulate me on what a lucky mom I was, how beautiful our boys were.  I feel myself puffing up with pride just remembering all those comments and fond looks.  And it didn’t hurt that Iain had the outgoing personality of a charismatic, mischievous imp and Learned was the epitome of a sheepish angel.  The grumpiest grump fell over their smiles when they laid eyes on them.

It was a beautiful, spiritual thing to see how a few seconds with an adorable, laughing toddler or two would infect anyone who crossed their paths.  You could see that grumpy ogre practically skipping down the aisles of Walmart after just an exchange of a little wave with my boys and, oh my, the elderly practically aged down 20 years.  They really did lighten the mental and emotional load just minutely enough to take the edge of the daily annoyances. With Millie and Padraig, same thing.  Lots of cues and love and smiles. 

More times than I can count, strangers insisted on giving my children gifts. At a breakfast restaurant a man sitting with his wife gave Millie a stuffed lobster he won from a robotic arm arcade game.  He and his wife both clearly enjoyed watching her hug that lobster. In line at the grocery store, a man behind us could not be dissuaded from giving each of my children a dollar to pick out a candy.  At first, I always tried to resist but I soon realized that these little things made these strangers happier even than my gratefully surprised children. People walked away happy.  Or at least happier.  More importantly, I learned that I should never judge how anyone was going to react to my children.  I try to be a conscientious, curteous mom.  I want my children to behave in public.  But I learned slowly that a lot of the crotchety stares I would get as my children laughed and sang loudly in aisles were not crotchety at all.  As we passed, these apparent grumps would crack a slight smile and tell me they remembered those days. The mean looking old ladies in church who I was trying not to disturb with my crying toddlers would reach over with a giggle and take one of them.  I learned that sometimes, those crotchety facial expressions don’t mean anything—sometimes people are just so used to being on the defensive to the outside world their faces just freeze that way.  The good feelings my kids caused were felt despite outside appearances.

To this day I am convinced that all those mere seconds of bliss we feel when we glimpse a little child who is happy or try to smile a crying toddler out of sadness as we pass or when we feel moved to give a little trinket to a child are what add up to a great force that keeps chaos, misery, and despair from overriding society.

“Children of Men” came out during this magical period of my older two boys’ toddler years.  If you do not know what it is about, I will summarize:  people can no longer procreate for some unknown reason. Society has crumbled into disarray, paranoia, and despair.  The government desperately encourages young people with various incentives to attempt procreation and the elderly to commit “self euthanasia”.  A pregnant woman is found by a group of rebels who are fighting a tyrannical, desperate government (has the word ‘desperate’ been mentioned?) who imprisons anyone seen as a threat.  The baby is born during the dangerous journey through anarchy to get her to safety.  Gunfire, soldiers shooting at citizens, etc.  They can no longer hide the baby but when they are trying to escape a dilapidated building in which people are shooting at each other and soldiers are trying to take over, as soon as anyone sees that newborn, the firing stops and everyone, EVERYONE, immediately stops to stare in wonder and waits until the baby is safe.  The baby brings joy to an elderly woman who dresses the baby in an antique christening gown that is the only baby clothing around and sings almost forgotten lullabies.

To say the least, life without children is bleak.  The worst in people multiples.  It was clear in my mind that what sunk humanity to this low was the lack of children.  Even if you don’t want your own, don’t particularly care for them, you are nonetheless positively effected by the existence of children.  They are the embodiment of the promise of a future with or without you in it.

So when we adoringly brought Lukasz into our lives, I was convinced that I had this center stage thing down. However, our center stage experience is not the center stage that the writer I mentioned was warning parents of “special” kids about.  Center stage with Lukasz is different.  

Center Stage With Lukasz

I will always jump into the foot lights to dance with Lukasz.  If we could just dance there while the audience applauded and threw roses, my story would stop.  But our center stage is not the target of applause.  I feel like we are performers that have to explain Shakespeare for the first time to each individual spectator.  Performance after performance.  And sometimes to the supporting cast as well.

So, I am a mother trying to combat the creep of cracks in my smile with which I reassure more and more mothers of 3 and 4 year olds who are inconsolably afraid of and run from Lukasz that “we know he (or she) can’t help it; they are not trying to be mean; it’s just their instinctive reaction.” That smile has really started to feel like a mask and the impenetrable wall holding back absolute despair for my child’s feelings is slowly leaning.  I know that wall will give way and I only hope I am alone in my room when the flood comes so Lukasz does not misunderstand that I am hurting for him, not because of him. 

On Saturday, one of Padraig’s preschool friends had a birthday party at a downtown park.  It also happened to be the day of the Oklahoma City St. Patrick’s Day Parade.  The park was, therefore, mobbed by families who decided to enjoy the post-Parade afternoon at the playground.  This had not occurred to me until we walked across the street from our parking spot and through the Myriad Gardens to the park.  From 50 yards away I saw all those people.  Instantly, I knew that I would be answering questions, deflecting fear and moving Lukasz away before he realized that his feelings were being attacked. The thought exhausted me.

For the first time since having Lukasz home with us, I almost turned everyone around and went home.  For the first time, I just didn’t want to have to explain that Lukasz is normal but different to another person.  I didn’t want to have to pretend to smile while another child said “but his face is creepy” or “what is that on his face?” (meaning the skin tags that would have been his right ear—we actually had a child innocently say, “why does he have chicken parts on his face?”) or burst into tears or simply ran away when they looked up and saw him standing next to them at the swings.

I thought about an incident at Iain and Learned’s running club just a week ago.  Iain was playing tag with a couple of his friends while we waited to start our run.  He decided to include Lukasz and made him “it.”  One of Iain’s friends thought this was a great idea and ran around pretending Lukasz was a monster and acting terrified.  This particular “friend” has been purposely cruel for fun towards Lukasz before and I have tried to limit Iain’s time with him.  I had to explain to Iain that his friend was being mean and walk Lukasz away without making a scene. It’s exhausting restraining yourself from telling an 8 year old that just because a child looks different doesn’t mean it’s OK to treat him like a monster for your own pleasure.  I have already tried to kindly redirect this child before to no effect.

So I wanted to leave that park before we walked through the gate. But I didn’t.  We went on to the party with the wonderful families who know Lukasz as P’s little brother and I set my smile to serve Lukasz’ future self-esteem.  He is not going to back out of a social engagement due to fear or exhaustion and he must learn to be strong when people are cruel or when little children run away from him terrified.  Oh my God.  That last one REALLY sucks.

There is just so much guilt and sad feeling for everyone else that also goes along with my own exhaustion, impatience at the fearful and love for Lukasz’ feelings.  I feel guilty that I get frustrated at children who can’t help the way they feel, guilty that I am adding to the burdens of educators who must not only teach but also find a way to both console and teach the child that turns toward the wall, cries and refuses to turn around when Lukasz walks into the room.

We went to see Dr. Kane for Lukasz’ follow up appointment on this Monday.  He said Lukasz’ head looks great.  And Matt and I fully agree.  Dr. Kane told us that he would do a scan in a year but no other surgeries until Lukasz is around 6 and then he would reconstruct his lower right jaw. Great news.

But I was also fresh off of my low point of the post St. Patrick’s Day Parade desire to flee, so when Dr. Kane also said that he had been thinking about my mother’s request to remove the skin tags from Lukasz’ cheek and that he really did not want to risk removing them because the tissue may be useful later, my heart sunk a little.  I don’t know what came over me but I just felt deflated.

I told him that we’d really like to remove the skin tags if we could.  And before I could stop, I explained that comments and stares and children’s fearful reactions were getting worse. I explained that a child that attends a class at P’s preschool bursts into inconsolable tears and hides when he sees Lukasz, that so many more kids than ever cannot be convinced to play with Lukasz after seeing him, and that I am terrified of the possibility that there will be a child like that in Lukasz’ class when he starts school this coming week.  I ended with the pitiful hope that removing the skin tags might help.  I am sure he and his nurse thought I had lost it.  In my defense, I had been in a car for 4 hours with three kids and was exhausted.

To both Dr. Kane and his nurse’s credit, they were incredibly compassionate and Dr. Kane said that he would remove the skin tags, of course.  Honestly, sitting here now, I know that removing those skin tags aren’t going to help much.

In a way, I feel like I am going through the famous adoption advice of “fake it until you make it” (if you don’t know what this refers to, it is:  if you don’t immediately fall in love with your adoptive child, pretend you did and eventually you will) in reverse. I have never had a problem with falling in love/bonding with any of my kids.  To be honest, if I was standing in front of my house and you told me the kid walking across the street was now going to be mine, I would truly be able to say “OK, that kid is mine, I love him and will literally through myself in front of a truck for him”.  I have always known that accepting a child as my own was just a matter of a decision or grant of permission for me.  Like a switch in my heart that just needs to be flipped, never to be turned off. 

My love for Lukasz is so strong. Yes, the first day of jet lag and meeting him, seeing his institutional delays, was difficult but I knew I would love him and die for him. Since then, there has been no question.  I have proudly taken him out everywhere we normally go smiling and barely noticing the looks.  It’s been a lot easier here than in Poland.  But I always work to be upbeat, wear a smile when I answer questions or tell a child, “he’s ok, he just looks different”.  And I mean it.  My husband and I made a decision that we want Lukasz to see our positive attitude, our belief that his differences are no big deal and he can do anything his siblings do so that when he grows up he will be positive and confident when people ask questions, stare, etc. 

But I find that where that smile had been natural, it is now a fake.  I know I am faking a smile to explain to yet another terrified or unsure child that he was just born that way and in my low moments I am thinking, “where the hell is your imbecile parent?  Why isn’t she or he over here reassuring you?”  That’s not often and that is NOT fair to anyone.  I am the one who knows how to explain Lukasz to other children (and their parents) so it is MY job if I want Lukasz to learn how to react to the world in a healthy way. 

At these moments I understand the absolute drowning darkness of spirit Joseph Merrick must have felt because I know that Lukasz’ issues are nothing to the extreme as his.  But Mr. Merrick represents my greatest fear for Lukasz; that he would have to wear a bag over his head to walk down the street in more peace than without it. Oh, Mr. Merrick was the “Elephant Man” and if you know him only as the Elephant Man perhaps you can now understand the fear I would have for my son—that society would only recognize him by his “disfigurement.”  Not by his grace of spirit and intellect; with which Mr. Merrick was also blessed.

To be honest, and forgive me this quick moment of anger, sometimes I really start to resent having to assuage the feelings of other children and parents when it is my child who has the burden of carrying his differences into every aspect of his life and who’s feelings are more permanently injured by the reactions of other children than those children are affected by their fears.  They can go home and either not think of it again or, at worst, be afraid for a day or two and overcome it. Lukasz will be walking into rooms and watching small children run away from him his whole life.  When I am not there, will anyone comfort him?  Will anyone be there to remind him that those children can’t help it; that they aren’t doing it to be mean?

Last Days in Poland and Home at Last!

New U.S. Citizen, as of going through Customs/Immigration in Minneapolis.

Last Days in Poland

It only took four days to get Lukasz' Polish passport and the US immigration visa.  The US Embassy gave me a sealed envelope of documents to give to customs at our first US destination (Minneapolis).  That was on Thursday.  We had three free days before leaving for home.

We walked around Warsaw for the last few times.  I bought some last minute souvenirs for the kids.

 Repair being done to a road in Old Town Warsaw. The stones are huge.

I wanted to take a picture of Lukasz next to the stones.

to give a perspective on how thick they are but he was

having none of it. He was perfectly happy until I tried

to stand him there. I think he thought I was going to

leave him there.

Superman was Adopted.  Great t-shirt.
In our apartment's back garden.

On Sunday, we were invited to our agency rep's home for the afternoon.  Their house is in a little village outside of Warsaw and the large backyard backs on to a forest.  The translator who worked on all of our documents and her family were also there.  Ewa, the translator, has two boys aged 7 and 9.  The 7 year old was born with a disfigured left arm so it was nice to get her experiences with how her boys react to strangers' and other children's comments and stares, as well as school experiences.

Both of the boys are extremely interested in all things nature.  And apparently everyone in Poland has an interest in collecting wild mushrooms to eat.  Even the boys were very familiar with the different types of mushrooms, poisonous and edible.  They were anxious for the season to start so they could hunt mushrooms.  So, after a lovely dinner outside, we all went for a long walk through the forest and the boys picked mushrooms--mostly poisonous.

I spent the rest of the night cleaning the apartment and packing.  We woke up at 3:00 a.m. and headed out to the airport.

Getting Home!

When we arrived in Minneapolis, we went straight to Customs with everyone else and I handed the precious sealed envelope to the Customs official.  He stamped Lukasz's passport and told us that he is now a citizen, we can apply for his social security card at any time using the passport as his identification and that we will receive a Certificate of Citizenship in the mail within 6-8 weeks.  Hurray!

Starting the Journey from Warsaw.

We made it home on June 30, 2012, at about 5:00 p.m.  Lukasz was great on the plane except he really hated being restrained on my lap during take off and landing.  He was perfectly content to sit on my lap throughout the flight, it was just when he felt like he was not allowed to move that he screamed.  Which was for the 20 minutes before, during and after take off (and landing) that we had to wait for the seat belt light to go off.

Note to all the passengers who gave us dirty looks and made nasty comments about his screaming:

       If you were strapped in a car seat during all your waking hours in the "play room" for the ten months after  you demonstrated an ability to roll over and move independently, you would also resist any attempt you perceive as a withdrawal of your newly acquired freedom of movement.  The resentful silence and few hateful comments of the plane full of people during his terrified cries are an allegory for the indifference and apathy of his caregivers, specifically, and the rest of the world, generally, which fails to acknowledge the unacceptable life conditions of so many children domestically and abroad.

Awesome Greeting

Matt and the kids and both of our sets of parents were there to meet us.  Lukasz and I exited the terminal at the wrong end of the airport so we weren't in the right spot to see everyone as we came out but we all ran to meet each other.  The kids crowded Lukazs immediately.  He was so tired, he did not respond as enthusiastically as the other kids had hoped but that did not seem to bother them at all.  

I don't know why they covered their faces.

On the ride home, we learned that Lukasz is terrified of balloons.  The metallic Elmo and "Welcome Home" balloon kept floating into his face and his one eye got so big and he had such a look of terror I had to twist around and shove them back before they did lasting trauma.

Meeting their new brother.

The adjustment is a little rough.  Nothing too bad but Lukasz does want me to hold him almost all the time.  That is good as it means he is attaching to me.  And he has woken up every morning at 3:00 a.m. and not gone back to sleep until 5:30.  We're following his lead and doing our best.  We want him to know that we will be here to meet all of his needs and we know that this is his third home in 2 months and that has got to be scary and unsettling.

Yesterday I thought he had FINALLY figured out the "more" sign while we were eating lunch.  He repeated it between almost twenty bites of food.  I was so excited that he was learning to communicate with language rather than screams and pointing.  But later in the day I could not get him to do it.

Walking with their new brother.

"Helping" Lukasz open gifts from Daddy and the kids.

Edible arrangement from the Great Aunts!
A huge hit.  Thanks! 

Adventures and Paperwork

I have to start with--Lukasz is ours!  Friday July 20, 2012, was the last day of the appeal period and the court decree was issued that afternoon in Lomza.  We started our whirlwind week of passport and visa processing today by driving two and a half hours to Lomza to get certified copies of the court decree, the new birth certificates losing Matt and I as Lukasz's parents and Lukasz' Polish passport.

Tomorrow, Lukasz has an appointment with a US Embassy approved physician for his Visa medical exam and then we go immediately to the Embassy for the Visa interview and to get all documents in order for Lukasz' Certificate of Citizenship to be process and mailed to us after our arrival in the US.  It really is amazing that the act of touching US soil is final requirement in the process of Lukasz' obtaining citizenship.

Last Week's Adventures

Lukasz and I were lucky to have several little trips last week, along with the usually wanderings around Warsaw broken up with naps for both of us.  Ahhhh, I'll miss taking an afternoon nap when I get home.

Camp

Our first adventure was a trip to a rural town outside of Warsaw.  On Wednesday, July 18, 2012, Lukasz and I had an exciting day of adventures with our in-country rep's 20 year old son, Timothy, and his friends visiting his childhood (and as a counselor) Christian camp in Zakosciele, about 1.5 hours outside of Warsaw.

Actually, the adventure started before we even left the street in front of my apartment.  I was early coming down from the apartment so walked several blocks to my favorite local coffee shop for a Mocha.  I came back to the building just in time to see Timothy and his "friend who is a girl" walking across the street to meet me.  Then, I saw two Polish Police officers intercepting them.  They were directed to follow the police back to the car.  Not knowing what to do, I followed.  I need to mention that I have often seen these police officers from my apartment window stopping people on the sidewalk and questioning them. Because I could never figure out why they were stopping people, I always just waited for them to leave before I left the apartment.  The though of being asked "for my papers" just scared me.

Timothy and Kasha were asked for their "papers", meaning identification.  Kasha is only 16 but apparently once you are old enough for pre-school here, you get an identification card that you mush have at all times.  They were run through the Police computer system for--drum roll, please--jaywalking.  They crossed in the middle of the block (they parked directly across the street from my building and walked right over) instead of going to the corner.  It took 35 minutes of questioning and requisitioning for the same answers to verify the information on the identification and to get a clearance from the Police system and a warning from the the Police.

I took these photos on the sly because I didn't know how the
police would react.

Timothy, taking this SO seriously.

I'll admit it.  I was sweating it out.  There was no way I wanted to accompany my friends to a relatively (less than 25 years) post -communist police station.  I wasn't in trouble because I met up with them after they were stopped but I had to go with them if they went.  First, I was the only "real" adult and felt I would owe that to Timothy's mom.  Second, they were my ride!

See, Lukasz was pretty concerned, too.

After we were given the all clear/stern warning about crossing in the wrong place in a predominantly pedestrian tourist area, we loaded up and headed out.  It was at this point that I realized that in my flustered and confused state in joining my friends while they talked to the jaywalking police, I had actually jaywalked in the same place to reach them.  Luckily, the police didn't notice with their attention on Timothy and Kasha.

Lukasz loves to walk, especially if he can get
two people to hold his hands.

At the camp we met many of Timothy and Kasha's friends, lots of Americans from various places in the US who were teaching classes and working as ministers at the camp.  I observed some of the classes and then we went to eat dinner in the little town.  Afterwards we went to a little stand to have the traditional and favorite Polish fair food--a rectangular waffle with whipped cream and other toppings.  They sell these everywhere; at the zoo, in little food stalls in town, etc.  I had not tried one yet.  I fed the whipped cream to Lukasz who loved it and the waffle was really good, just like our waffles at home.

Trying out soccer (or "football") for the second time.

Just being cute.

Less than thrilled riding the Cars
mechanical toy

The three college kids on a carousel.

We went back to the camp for 8:00 service because the various classes were going to perform and then we headed home.  Got home at around 11:00 p.m.  Exhausted.

Warsaw Zoological Gardens

On Saturday, Timothy drove us to the Warsaw Zoo.  Very beautiful zoo with large, old trees.  THe grounds are expansive.   I learned that, among the many stories of the resistance in Warsaw, that the couple who ran the zoo during the Nazi occupation used the zoo to hide Jews.  They would hide them in their home and in the buildings on the grounds but would also dress them in staff uniforms and hide them in plain sight of the Nazis who frequented the zoo due to the Nazi's fascination with exotic animals.  The more I learn about this city during the war, the more I respect it's people.  They couldn't do much overtly, but so many did their best to covertly subvert.

Highlights of the zoo included the storks.  Storks are very common in Poland and, according to Grace (our agency rep) they are considered good luck.  They build large nests on platforms all over Poland, some of the platforms are man made specifically to encourage storks to build their nests and also because storks are notoriously bad at building structurally sound nests.  However, Timothy contradicts his mother and says that storks are not considered good luck but are a nuisance.  Both agree that Poles tell the same little story about babies being delivered by storks.

Thundering Up the place!
Again, less than thrilled.  We've got to work on that.

The waffle with whipped cream.

Lukasz really loves Timothy.  He holds his
hand up to him and screams until Timothy holds it.

A Few Other Observations

I have confirmed with my own eyes!  Men in Europe DO carry murses!

Lukasz experienced his first fountain wade in the Old Town Square.  He was less than thrilled.

Old Town Square, Mermaid fountain.  At least Lukasz and this girl
had clothes on.  Kids in Poland tend to run through splash parks
and fountains in just their underwear.

There was a Police Academy graduation ceremony in the Royal Castle square on Saturday.  While we waited for Timothy to pick us up for the zoo we got to see the various Police bands start their march through Old Town.  Do our police departments have bands?  If not, they should.

Sometimes, you just play so hard you pass out.