A Thank You Letter
We owe a great debt of gratitude
to the Catholic Center for the blessing of our fifth child, our fourth child
through adoption and our only internationally adopted child. Lukasz has added so much love to our family
and expanded our experience of the world in many wonderful ways; from a journey
to Poland to seeing life through the eyes of a child so different in amazing
ways from the rest of the world.
This was an unexpected journey in
many, many ways. We never expected
to adopt internationally. We never expected we would adopt a child with only
one eye, one ear, half a jaw, right coronal craniosynostosis and a severe cleft
lip and cleft palate. As it turns
out, we cannot predict our future and sometimes one email can change your life
forever in beautiful ways that only God can foresee.
When we learned through an email
from our agency about Lukasz, I asked my husband if I should
inquire for more information. He said, "It never hurts to ask." I emailed and asked “how bad are his
facial deformities?” and the agency rep said, “I am happy to send photos.” I’ll admit that it took me a few
minutes to take in all of Lukasz’ face and let it settle in. The uncorrected cleft lip and palate
were severe; the unformed right side of his face complete. But I fell in love.
I researched his medical conditions. I reached
out to support groups on and contacted craniofacial surgical teams and our
family doctor for their opinions. Medical opinions ranged from, “he could be in
diapers for the rest of his life” to “no big deal, he has one ear and one
eye—he’ll be fine”.
However, all the doctors agreed that he
would require ongoing surgical intervention for the first eighteen years of his
life and that each of those craniofacial surgeries would be medically necessary
and necessarily expensive. But somehow we knew that even though the unknown was
terrifying, we wanted him.
A Leap of Faith
It came down to whether we wanted to take
the leap of faith into the unknown that every adoptive parent must make. There are too many unknowns in adoption
to expect a smooth ride. You
cannot expect to know even nearly everything about the birth parents or the
adoptive child prior to bringing them home.
The faith you leap with can only, at best,
be educated and confident that you can do what it takes to parent and love his
child completely and appropriately as if God had placed him in your womb. We took the leap. We accepted the referral. The negative
medical information and opinions just did not feel right to us.
Becoming a Family
We traveled to Poland on June 20,
2012, and met Lukasz on June 22, 2012.
His foster family’s love was immense. We could feel their sorrow in letting him go but they were
happy he would have a family. The devotion of the
adoption center’s director to Lukasz was amazing. She was at his birth, named him after her son and so
desperately wanted him to have a home as quickly as possible.
On July 30, 2012, I arrived home
after 6 weeks in Poland with Lukasz, our new son. He was immediately embraced
by his siblings as one of their own.
They had been waiting for him for as long as we had. Every day after the day they saw his
referral pictures, they had asked, “When are we bringing our brother
home?” As much as we had loved him
from the moment we heard of him, they did as well.
Lukasz is a child of joy, pure
energy, stubborn determination, and was given the gift of a complete, blissful
inability to recognize the stares and comments his appearance often elicits. He
has an infectious charm that wins even the most wary stranger over. He loves to copy
everything his big brothers do and even lets his sister comb his hair. He is speaking better and better
everyday. In February, he had cranial vault reconstruction to reshape his skull
and bring his right cheek forward.
They surgeons told us that he would be tired and in pain for several
weeks but he surprised them by recovering, being able to go in three days
rather than six and getting back to normal activity almost immediately.
Thank You
We know that God’s plan was for
Lukasz to join our family. The
Catholic Center, the foster family, our agency, and in-country agency representative
(and her family as well) truly acted as the hands and feet of Christ in
bringing him home to us.
Thank you, for advocating for
Lukasz and all children waiting for families. Thank you for entrusting us with your precious child.
Adopting all of
our children was a miracle.
Adopting Lukasz from Poland was a lesson in being open to whatever
unexpected opportunity comes our way. We pray that other families, Polish and
international, will have the courage to prayerfully accept a child into their
families through adoption.
