Approved!!!!!!

We just heard yesterday that our dossier was accepted by the Catholic Center and that we should expect our "official" referral for Luka in the next few weeks and to travel in June!  I am told that I should be back home with Luka by the end of July. The agency told us that the Catholic Center made a very quick decision and that referrals from Poland are usually inches thick with medical records and other information.  We can't wait to see all of it.   Of course, I really feel secure when we get the referral so that makes it all the more important, as well.

I would have posted sooner but I have been busy re-researching craniofacial teams (had to find all my info from a few months ago) calling to schedule consultations for early August and being just plain airheaded from the good news.

As excited as I am, it is always my nature to be guarded and have one eye watching for the "other shoe to fall".  I'm still tense but it feels so good to be moving along.

Waiting...

Today is the day our agency told us the Catholic Adoptive-Guardian Center's Qualifying Commission would be considering whether to approve us (among other prospective adoptive parents) to adopt from them and, in particular, Luka.

We haven't heard anything, yet, but Poland is approximately 7 hours ahead of us here in Central US time.  So, IF they actually got to our file today, they have already decided and everyone has gone home by now.  I assume that the Commission meetings take most of the day and, therefore, we will not likely hear anything today.  Because they would have to get a lot of paper work together before they can notify us of anything, I am trying to convince myself not to expect to hear anything until next week at the earliest.

This means I will spend all week trying to keep myself from emailing our agency to see if they have heard anything.  We will see how that goes.

Getting Close to our Fundraising Goal

Fundraising

We just got a total from Brittany's Hope on our fundraising (see right side of page).  This includes the proceeds from the garage sale and other donations.  SO excited!  Thank you to everyone!

They do not tell us the amounts that individuals donate, just the total for everyone, and the names and addresses so we can send out personal thank you's--which I will!

As soon as I figure out a way to put everyone's name on the Polish flag that doesn't involve using my own non-existant art skills, I'll post a picture of the flag with your names.

Update on My Nervous Breakdown

I am still very worried but trying to keep my mind off of the process and the innumerable possible outcomes. Matt, of course, is calm as can be and I have been reminded by many that I must pray to be at peace with whatever happens and that everything really does happen for the best or at least for a reason that I won't understand right away.

After I my last post, my agency emailed me back the following:

Susan,

Poland won't let the foster family adopt him due to the severity of his needs unless they happen to be independently wealthy.  The Catholic center knows he will not get the surgeries he needs in Poland and will here.  I don't think you have anything to worry about!  I can't imagine how someone wouldn't fall in love with him though!  I think a letter from your priest would be a great idea.  We can send that right away.  

I think you are about right on the timeline.  Grace is planning on being in the US sometime this spring (her daughter is giving birth to her first grandchild) but we are going to make sure that this does not slow or impede your travel.  

Nina

I have analyzed this email about a million times.  I don't know what to think.  I know that it is true that Luka cannot get the surgeries he needs in Poland.  There are no qualified craniofacial teams in Poland.  I was told this by several international craniofacial and plastic surgery associations when I was researching medical teams for Luka.  But maybe the desire of the foster family would outweigh the medical issues.

I have come to peace with the idea of the foster family falling in love with Luka and wanting to adopt him.  It would be wonderful for Luka to have more than one family wanting him and as long as he is wanted and adopted, I cannot complain.

My biggest fear at this point is that they will simply decide that they do not want US to adopt him because they think Luka's medical issues will be too much for us with four children already.  I will really need support if they decide not to let us adopt him and they don't have anyone else ready, willing and waiting for him.  We know we can handle it.  Our home study says we can handle it.  Our experience shows we can handle a child with time and cost intensive issues.  Our research shows that we are prepared.  But who knows.

I will talk to our priest about a letter but not until next week.  I think it is unfair to ask him to write a letter for us while he is in the middle of Holy Week, one of the busiest times of the year for a priest.  At least I know I have until April 16 since that's when they will (hopefully) be taking our file to the Catholic commission.

It's going to be a rough 3 or 4 weeks!

Update and More Worry!

Ok.  I am a worrier.  I am actually so stressed that I am light head and about to have a panic attack--the heart rate's rising, constriction in my chest and I feel my blood pressure dropping but I am fighting off the black out.  I have had them before--when Matt had his mystery infection and they thought he might have lymphoma.  I had to go on a sedative, but I digress.  

We just got an update from our agency that I know was intended to be reassuring but has had the exact opposite affect on me.  Here it is:

Kane family

Ewa is going to finish translation of the dossier by Tuesday next week. Catholic Center commission is on April 16 and I hope the family is qualified then. After the commission qualifies the family I need to get approval from Polish Central Authority. Then I will email you all the documents for I-800A.As for Lukasz, he is going to be transferred to a foster family just after Easter. Bozena, his legal guardian, is absolutely sure it will be very good for him. He longs for close contact and attention but he does not get it in the Institution. He will be the only child in the foster family, so they will take care of all his needs well. They know they will have him just for a short period of time.

Um, DO they know they will only have him a short period of time?  Do they?  Do they?  They have 3 or 4 weeks with this cutie pie and they won't want to adopt him?  I think not.  So I have to worry about whether we will actually get his referral for another 3 or 4 weeks!

So, here is my response to the agency.  Finally realizing that Luka actually IS in the care of the Catholic Center and that Poland really is so Catholic oriented, I am hitting myself in the face that I didn't make our faith more clear.  Of course, I am grasping at anything that I can look to as something I can fix.  I am hoping our agency will give me ANY reassurance:

Thanks, Nina!

But I don't know whether to be excited or cry or throw-up.  I am now totally afraid the foster family will want to adopt Luka (although I am glad he will get lots of hugs and kisses).  

So it sounds like 3 or 4 weeks to get our official referral?  I'm so nervous now about whether they will give him to us or not.  Is there anything else we can do?  Should I get a letter from our priest?  Our baptismal/confirmation certificates/records?  I don't know why I didn't think of it sooner.  Should we write another letter?  I don't know if we stressed enough that we are practicing Catholics and involved with our church.

Sorry, I am just feeling the nerves now.  I'm a worrier, can you tell?

Susan

Please!!!!! Send me any good, calming thoughts you can spare.  If I had a bathtub (renovations going on a year not complete), I'd have a glass of wine (or two or three) and soak.  But I don't.  And I have experience trying to run with panic attack inducing thoughts running through my head.  It's not good.  Anyone have suggestions?